The Maid
What follows is advice that any Dominant might find useful in managing, directing or choosing a domestic maid. The discussion is meant to be thorough and complete, and the author sincerely intends to continue upon the work already done.I. What Goals May Be Achieved
Any Dominant recognizes that performance of the household duties by an outfitted and obedient maid is a thing to be sincerely treasured. Consider what qualities you would seek: certainly that your maid should do her work well, and dream of making herself a fixture within her Mistress’s life. Certainly that your maid’s own joys and sorrows would reflect the state of her Mistress’s affairs, so that your maid’s whole sense of worth derived from simplifying and managing her Mistress’s home as to make it a place for your comfort and luxury in every instance. Certainly that there would never be any mention of compensation, for your maid’s sympathies and attachment made repayment for her efforts an inconsiderable manner. Certainly that your maid would never regard her work as beneath her, so that she would always know that her proper place and her labours always went hand in hand, the more so when her labours were well and conscientiously done. Certainly that she would never catch some illness of the mind, that would poison her with some false view that she should seek some other vocation, or strive to do as little of her work as she possibly can while hoping to retain her Mistress’ affections.
Sadly, it is more common to find untidiness, indolence and dishonesty occurring within one’s maid, rather than the desired skill, energy and loyalty one hopes to find. All too often, your would-be maid is too in love with her situation as an ordinary individual and does not want to sacrifice the hours or her present vocation in order to remain a maid of all work for the rest of her life. While the idea may be romantic, the reality is less so.
For many, the attempted solution is to make arrangements which give the domestic certain hours of the day, or certain days of the week, in which the uniform will be worn and the work will be done, with remaining time allotted to her and her own freedom. More often than not, this offers no inducement for the “girl” to become skillful or expert at her work, nor does it encourage her to increase the time at her duties. Commonly it only creates resentment against those days when she must work, and wishing for those days where she is without responsibilities, compelling her Mistress to police her endlessly, snapping her lazy self into action on those days when she must work.
What then is a Dominant to do? Certainly the whole system by which domestics are found and directed to serve has become inundated by those who see nothing in their service except their own immediate gain, more or less in terms of the attention they receive and the manner in which their own desires are fulfilled. A Dominant is bound to be at the end of her wits should she consider her own needs to be absolute, or that a servant act selflessly or at least obediently. The result is a perpetual coming and going, each would be failing to live up to promises and commitments made, followed by sulking, resistance and finally withdrawal.
Whatever the accusations which “girls” might make against their superiors, most commonly that their Mistresses did not “do enough,” that they were too “tyrannical” or too “exacting,” it is for the Dominant to decide how matters should be settled under her roof. This, first and foremost, must be made clear to anyone new who enters into your home: that it is without question YOUR home, and that the first rule modifying any behavior which goes on will be left to your decision ALONE. All too often a Dominant enters into the matter by failing to establish at the outset where the power in the household will reside—and as such, power becomes the bone of contention which destroys all the good which may have come from a new maid, behaving appropriately and loyally towards you and your happiness.
All that a Dominant can do to remedy this evil is to promote utter frankness from the first meeting. Whatever status your future maid may presently enjoy as an individual, you must fully outline exactly what your expectations are, what privileges will be granted, what consequences will occur should you be disappointed and under which terms you will release your domestic temporarily from obligations. Finally, you must be absolute with regards to those situations that will terminate all ties. If your would-be maid is not pleased, let her depart without regret. But if you engage her, then let it be said in no uncertain terms that you are the Mistress of the House, and claim without hesitation the right to have the work done in your way, to decide the measure and amount of the work and to decide what days will be required for faithful labour.
It should be said that although you are a Dominant, you must have for yourself a remarkable skill at domestic service if you expect the same from any whom you direct. You ought to be able to do everything better and quicker than any domestic who ever dared think of doing it. If ever a Dominant gives orders that betray her ignorance, she may as well resign her sceptre at once in shame and humiliation, for it will certainly undermine the conscientiousness of her help. No Dominant who does not know the scope of what can be done by a domestic can ever correctly direct the actions of that domestic. And when a Dominant has the maid who meets her needs, even then a turn in the household chores for a day or two will often be like a revelation to her, expanding her knowledge in how her home may be better cared for—after all, it remains HER home, and will bear examination from time to time.
There are many ways in which the Dominant will improve her life and the quality of her servants merely by addressing her own faults and failings. She should never cease to learn. She should never believe that the limitations she now possesses cannot be expanded and overcome. She should examine pointedly her own emotions, fears, fantasies, ideas and thoughts, with an eye to understanding their origin and towards shaping their design.
She should accept herself as a Dominant, and never feel ashamed or intimidated by her personal desires to be cruel or to enjoy the suffering and degradation of others, if that is her mindset. She should be happy in the knowledge that her pursuit of self-interest has won her many material benefits as well as the worship and obedience of others, and if it should be that she finds herself believing that she is better than or more worthy than others whom she sees as inferior, then she should find happiness in this also and not shame.
She should strive to be elegant in movement and in speech, to carry herself with style and grace, as these attributes will invoke awe and respect in both her peers and her inferiors. In all things, if she does not act with hesitation or confusion, if she instead should appear self-assured and magnificent, then she will draw obedience from her subjects. She should always be willing to learn and grow in this way.
She should resist the desire to be fickle, as mixed messages and dishonorable behavior serves only to undermine a servant’s loyalties. She need not be excessively arrogant or abusive, though she should indulge herself if she has not done so lately. She should always be open to new ideas and innovations.
She should be patient, and recognize that methodical explanations and time serve best towards training a domestic in her duties. She should remember always that the responsibility for a domestic being correct or derelict in her duties rests with the Dominant alone—any domestic trained well by a thoughtful, careful Mistress will behave according to their instruction. If the instruction be poor, so then will follow behavior. But if mistakes have been made, the matter at hand is action, the acceptance of responsibility and the correction of those mistakes, and not recriminations.
The Mistress of the House should always be the Mistress of her temper. Praise should be given when it is deserved, but should never be given lightly or frivolously, as this will encourage low standards. If anything is done improperly, take proper time and have it done correctly, again and again if necessary. In most cases of incompetence, this will serve well enough as punishment.
If it should happen, however, that the difficulty is not incompetence, but recalcitrance, as the domestic is stubbornly resistant to authority or control, then arrange punishment fairly. Explain again the arrangements that were clearly stated from the first, that this is your house and that your rules apply equally towards both activity and attitude—then apply lashes, confinement and the deprivation of customary indulgences as necessary.
Punishment should be reasonable with respect to the nature of the crime. Forty lashes for failing to hang a dishcloth next to the sink would be somewhat excessive, while obviously a three-minute scolding without administered correction for failing to wash the kitchen floor would be far too generous. Have in your mind a rising scale of offenses, and punish accordingly, being ready to raise the level of punishment if a particular task is repeatedly left undone. How to catalog this rising scale is a matter that shall be discussed in detail later. Never diminish the level of punishment, for it will make you appear yielding and weak. Knowing this in advance, remember that too much punishment will ruin a potential domestic.
It is better to err on the side of weakness than the side of brutality. A weakness in the beginning can be corrected, while brutality will only destroy a servant’s affection. Never forget that it is only a servant’s complete adoration for the magnificence you display which will ensure continued, unremitting obedience and faithfulness. It is to attain this faithfulness that you as a Dominant strive always to be a keener, fuller, more profound Woman; that your word should become law by the virtue of the words you choose and the degree in which your justice is dispensed. While you may dispassionately distribute harsh punishment, you must also remain dispassionate with regards to perceived insults that are no more than the limitations displayed by a “girl” incapable of being anything more than a domestic. Find fault with as little annoyance as possible, particularly at the beginning of a domestic’s training, remembering that a sharp and bitter rebuke may reveal a tendency towards the hysteric; do not become drawn into emotional dramatics. Deal exclusively with her punishment and give the matter no more thought.
To be magnificent requires also that you be magnanimous. Give your maid all the privileges possible, and when obliged to deprive them on account of errors made, give your maid the opportunity to win them back again. Provide somewhat for the maid’s comfort, and for the attractiveness of her wardrobe, as pride in being a maid is heartily important to her. She desires to appear pretty and pleasant to the eye, does she not?
A servant who is tucked away in a gloomy attic, unfinished, uncarpeted and uncurtained, with the hardest bed and the meanest bed clothing in the house, can hardly be expected to be neat and tidy in her personal habits. Such things will only encourage her to seek solace elsewhere, whereas a place made personal by the generous providing of sentimental objects, a desirable wardrobe and comfortable furniture will serve to provide a home sorely to be missed, thus securing and keeping a good “girl,” winning her into sympathy and attachment to her Mistress.
To do this a Dominant must respect her maid as a sensitive, vulnerable creature, and not class her as a mere drudge. It is indisputable that a faithful maid, whatever her status or wealth, retains her invaluable, irreplaceable character, a circumstance to be treasured. You must let your domestic see that you do not consider her work unappreciated, but delightfully appreciated, and that you do not for a moment expect your maid to regard it in any other light.
While you may, unapologetically in your heart, view your domestic as your inferior, you must never show her by word, look or action that you look down upon her because of her work. The work is a prized, valuable commodity, and does not in itself diminish the domestic. Rather, the domestic is promoted in your estimation by the work she does, and in that way EARNS for herself the privilege of being in your presence. Never should a Dominant reward such an earned presence with dismissiveness.
By the cultivation of such amenities as these, the house may really be made a home for the domestic. The Dominant who has accomplished this may well congratulate herself on having escaped the worst and most perplexing ills of the life of a self-styled Superior Woman. In her efforts to bring about such a result, she may confidently count on many cases of incompetence, stupidity, and even ingratitude from many who think themselves suitable to be her maid. She will often have to show such creatures to the door. The experiment, however, is in the right direction; and if it fails to achieve complete success, it cannot be wholly without good results.
II. What Expectations There Are
It is recommended that your list of expectations be comprehensive, uncompromising and specific in both detail and in the described consequence should your maid fail to adhere. They should not, however, be unrealistic, nor excessively demanding. Your maid should be easily able to live within the context of your rules and guidelines, so that after a few months she might so quickly adapt as to believe herself in nearly every one. You must grant that some odd rule will seem virtually impossible for your maid, but if it is fair and if it reflects truly a wish that you hold dearly, your maid will come to see the wisdom of your expectation and will recant her resistance.
We shall from this point consider a number of proscribed recommendations that the Dominant might wish to adopt. This list may be considered by some as excessive, and by others as not nearly complete. Nevertheless, those things that are included will be discussed at fair length, so that the wisdom of the proposed rule may be better understood.
Appearance & Hygiene
It is best that we begin with this, as these apply precisely to the manner in which your future maid will first be judged when met at the outset, and will certainly be the first good habits you wish to instill in her once she has become your servant.
Each morning, she should rise at a proscribed time, early enough that she should be brightly awake and ready to act in your service. Therefore it is best if she has already been up for hours, for then there can be no chance that she will be still suffering from the physical effects of a poor night’s sleep—her face will not be puffy or blanched, her eyes will not droop, her movements will not be slow and full of aches and her head will be clear and fresh, the better to accept instructions should you choose to give them.
It is for that reason that your maid should be awake at six bells or perhaps six-thirty, certainly no later than seven. Any earlier and the time must be stolen from the evening before, when you may chance to find use for her. Any later and she will still be preparing herself for the day when you might chance to awaken, peckish or ready to be dressed. Let us therefore assume that your maid has been expected to rouse herself at six.
Her first activity will be to bathe herself, to keep herself as clean as possible. She should be sure to wash her hair, to clean beneath her fingernails, to brush her teeth and to apply deodorant. The various products that she should use will be chosen by and provided by the Dominant; you should expect them to be used in their proper amounts without exception and not wasted. Doubtlessly you will proscribe hair products to be applied once she has left the shower, plus a shaving kit, to be used for her legs or the rest of her body as need be. During the evenings she will perform the greater part of her body chores, such as tweezing her brows, defoliating her entire body, buffing her feet or hands, polishing her fingernails (in a selected, muted color) and so on, that in the morning the merest maintenance may be applied in the shortest possible time as to prepare her to look her best. You may insist upon some make-up, or none at all, and you may wish that she should not polish her nails or polish them with only clear polish to protect them. You may wish some degree of perfume, or not. These are decisions that only you as her Mistress can make.
Before dressing, your maid should take steps to fix her hair, which you are recommended to keep as long as possible, as its maintenance and care will help to provide her with a degree of femininity amid the drudgery of a maid’s life, which she should certainly cherish. This hair should be braided if there is time, or placed into a ponytail or into pigtails, or pinned in place so as to be no distraction during the day’s work. As many Dominants desire that the uniform include a hat or other decorations about the top of a maid’s head, it is recommended that your maid be given instructions on how you wish her hair to be pinned; if she has not had any previous experience with pins, this may prove a challenge for her, but additional instruction and practice may be assigned in the late evening when her chores are complete.
Her nails should be kept short, as this will be most practical for working. It will take only a minute or two in the morning for her to quickly buff them, address her cuticles and ensure that during the day they will not tear or break and therefore be no problem for her.
Water should not be left on the bathroom floor following your maid’s morning routine, and this should be cleaned up immediately, along with the sink and any other affected area, and not left to wait until your maid has completed dressing. This is simply a question of being prepared; should her Mistress rise unexpectedly and have use for the bathroom, it will be in proper order. If her Mistress should rise while the maid is still applying her toilet, the maid’s immediate presence ensures that the floor can be quickly wiped and the sink cleared—which cannot happen if the maid has returned to her room to fit herself into her uniform.
The Dominant may expect her maid to be done with the bathroom no later than six-thirty, and to be completely dressed in her uniform by quarter of seven. This makes her ready to slip into the kitchen for a quick breakfast before being completely ready to serve by seven-o-five or seven-ten, a good hour before her Mistress might be expected to rise before going to work, even longer if Mistress works from home. On a weekend or a vacation day the maid may have been at work three or four hours before her Mistress has any reason to rise at all, which is best.
There are those who would prefer to keep out of the subject of uniforms altogether—but as there is so much written on the subject, and a variety of designs and methodologies to be considered, it would be remiss not to give the matter ample space and time in order that it may be viewed in its entirety, and thus the decision made properly and then left behind.
There are two pronounced schools of thought on the matter: that the maid should be dressed in an excessively feminine style, in clothes designed to exhibit fully the complete humiliation that a maid might experience as an inferior servant in the household; and that the maid be dressed in a thoroughly practical manner, without any flourish at all, so as to be ready to scrub and clean in clothes designed fully for the purpose and to virtually vanish from the gaze of any member of the household not specifically in service. Nearly all forms of proposed dress may be placed upon a line stretching from one extreme to the other; it is to be devotedly wished that, except in certain circumstances, normal daily wear for normal daily service to tend more towards the dour and featureless end of the spectrum rather than towards the excessively decorated.
That said, there are certainly circumstances in which an absurdly feminine uniform might be appropriate—when, for instance, there is no hard or dirty work for your maid to do, except to dance attendance upon her Mistress at the supper table or in her Mistress’s bedchamber; there might also be circumstances in which some carefully chosen ridiculous finery might serve as punishment, to bring a blush to the cheek of your maid and thus draw from her an honest appreciation for her ordinarily assigned attire.
What then, might this include? Perhaps something incredibly pink, with several layers of pink petticoats, supported by satin bloomers with an abundance of lace and ribbons; perhaps a voluminous array of petticoats beneath an embarrassingly short dress, the sort characterized as “French,” fashioned of rich satin or velvet; then perhaps either overlaid by fancy pinafores, well-starched and ruffled along the shoulder, embroidered of course; alternately to be added might be bonnets or bibs, aprons or caps.More appropriately, however, a Dominant should choose materials and designs more durable for what work needs to be done, putting aside fanciful costumes for play. Such costumes may have appropriate uses in times when no real work is to be done, for managing to dress her Mistress in the morning, or waiting upon her Mistress at the dinner table in the evening, or serving at fancy dress parties. It has occurred to some Dominants that compelling their domestics to wear ridiculous clothing has the effect of discipline, resulting in a greater appreciation for the dull daily wear of a maid-of-all-work.
However, an ordinary uniform need not be dull. It should, on the contrary, have definite features which suggests a pretty, feminine resident of your home—she will have, after all, a certain ornamental appeal for visitors and for yourself, as a Dominant’s home should reflect both the character and style of its chief inhabitant. Therefore, be sure to select a durable, yet attractive frock as the principal garment of the uniform.
Lingerie beneath the uniform should be matching and kept in excellent repair. While it will not be ordinarily seen, the wearer will be aware of its condition and this will affect her self-image and her overall attitude. Either black or white should be selected for undergarments—any other color would be far too pretentious. If you will be purchasing these garments, allow her a moderate degree of decoration, as a bit of lace or embroidery serves to encourage her to feel less a drudge.
Stockings and a slip will be completely necessary, as both will conceal the effects of the domestic’s perspiration as she sets about her tasks. If you choose to allow her thigh-high stockings, insist upon a garter belt, as a full day’s work will play havoc with elasticity. A petticoat will serve to reduce how overheated your maid will become through the afternoon, but resist the urge for something fluffy or extravagant, as this will only become cumbersome in bending and kneeling throughout the long day.
A pinafore will also help to conceal stains or spots acquired by the uniform’s frock, and have the added usefulness in that they can be discarded the moment some accident has occurred and replaced with one that is fresh and clean. This greatly reduces the need for many uniforms, as six pinafores will suffer the damage of twenty frocks—and may be replaced that much more inexpensively. It is recommended that the pinafore should not have too much in the way of flourish, as wide ruffles tend to be caught on corners and fixtures.
Alternate to the pinafore would be the commonly chosen starched cotton apron, often supported by a bib to protect her front. Often, both pinafore and apron may be worn together, particularly in the kitchen where stains are a constant difficulty. A thorough Dominant may consider circumstances in which a particular apron or pinafore ought to be worn; a particular pinafore only to worn while cleaning the bedrooms, another for the bathrooms, and an added apron for the kitchen. Such matters are best left up to the Dominant.
All pinafores and aprons should be thoroughly starched to increase their durability and the neatness with which they appear upon the shape of the uniform. Anything very dirty that might need to be done, such as cleaning the fireplace or scouring, ought to done while wearing a head-to-toe plastic smock, covering the maid both front and back, along with matching cap, rubber gloves and even protective eyeglasses or goggles (depending on the activity). In the kitchen, some sort of hairnet should be worn.
Shoes may have some heel, but it should be no higher than the maid can prove to wear practically throughout the length of the day. Like other fanciful attire, anything above an inch is likely to prove more trouble than its worth. Some maids, however, are remarkably able to wear a higher heel and experience no effect on their practical output. This, too, is left up to the Dominant to decide.
There is nothing wrong with a little unpretentious jewelry, such as a necklace or earrings, as long as these do not hang out of place and thus become a distraction. Small ear studs and a neat necklace are best.
Finally, a word about corsets. While they may seem proper, and often suggested by literature or by the Dominant’s imagination, unless a considerable training course has been adopted it will be without question a virtual impossibility for your maid to complete her work while steadfastly laced into a full-length, or even a partial corset. If you feel that this must be incorporated in order to create the right posture for a servant, begin with a very light lacing of the garment, insisting that this been increased over a period of months. You may also consider seriously that a girdle might serve to produce the effect wanted. Do not make absurd physical demands where no such demands can be possibly met! Young girls with no previous corseting experience must be weaned into the practice through patience and reason, and not willy nilly on the unconsidered ambitions of their Mistresses. Remember always that the first order of business is work done and done well—appearance comes second, and should be sacrificed until steps are taken to correct what deficiencies exist. With a proper attitude towards both, both appearance and service can be improved together, without risking the growing loyalty of your domestic as she, too, comes to understand the importance of your goals for her.
The body of the uniform should be either black or grey, as these colors work the least to reveal imperfections brought about by the day’s work. The cuffs, collar, apron or pinafore should be white (again, color would be pretentious). It should be of some fabric that is a stiff cotton or a light wool, depending on the degree to which the environment will be heated and, of course, the overall climate. The principal frock should reach to below the knee, so that it will move up when your maid kneels (staining her stockings but not the uniform) and will fall back in place to cover her knees when she stands. Her undergarments should be of a strong fabric that will tolerate a great deal of perspiration and will not be a problem during those times when she will have her period.Three uniforms should be considered a minimum. This will twice allow the replacement of her uniform during the day—in which case she should immediately launder those that have become unwearable. Six pinafores or six aprons should also be the minimum, as alluded to already. The replaced parts of her uniform should never be allowed to lay in the laundry until the next day, but should be cleaned by the next morning. At the end of each day she should hand wash her uniform and leave it to hang dry in the laundry, that it may be ironed in the morning when she begins work. Other parts of the uniform may be laundered in the machine, white pinafores and aprons washed separately and with bleach.
Whenever you feel you should inspect your maid’s uniform—and this should be done daily whenever possible—you should be on the lookout for efforts to keep her skin clean or to properly change her apron or pinafore when appropriate. A minor stain on a black dress may be ignored, but a similar stain on her white collar or her white apron, particularly one that has quite obviously been there for some time, warrants a harsh word and punishment, and she should be sent to remedy the situation before continuing in her duties.
Look also for signs that her uniform is becoming frayed or in need of repair. These are things that your maid should be noticing from daily ironing her clothes and reporting to you before you have a chance to discover it for yourself. All parts of the uniform should be present and properly worn. Look for smears on your maid’s face, hairs out of place that should have been fixed or scuffs and marks on her shoes. Her stockings should be agreeably straight, seams at the back, her garters fastened correctly and orderly, and her stockings replaced in the events of runs or quite obvious stains. You should not allow her to present a slip-shod appearance, as a complimentary appearance will augment the approval she keeps for herself.
This is particularly true if your maid should have any reason for leaving the house, as her uniform and its appearance is a statement about her Mistress and the sort of environment you keep. Your maid is an ambassador of sorts to other homes in the neighborhood—it is your responsibility and your maid’s duty to see that she presents a fine diplomatic image.
At no time may the maid’s clothes be laundered in the machine with those of the Dominant or her family. Some parts of the maid’s uniform may be laundered at the same time as those clothes she wears in the evenings or on her days off.
Throughout the day, the maid should always wash her hands with soap and water, for the appropriate hygienic period of at least twenty seconds, applying a brush for the purpose, before and after handling food, before and after handling any infant or child in the house, or whenever she has used the toilet or whenever she has completed any task using her hands which might be inconvenient with regards to her next task. She would not need to wash her hands between vacuuming and the laundry, but she would certainly need to wash her hands between cleaning the bathtub and folding clothes.
To ensure a proper night’s sleep, your maid should be directed to her room after 9 P.M. and expected to be in bed with the lights out no later than 10:30. She should expect to spend some of her evening prior to this in primping her brows and other features, brushing her teeth and bathing. She may not let her hair down within the presence of her Mistress, even after she has completed her duties, until she is in her room and alone.
If it should happen that your domestic becomes ill of health, she should let you know at once. In that manner you may correctly oversee the manner of your maid’s care and recovery. She should know that her health is her Mistress’ main concern, and this should be made clear to her through consideration and with formal statements positively asserting the fact. As such, she must be made to understand that following all your instructions without question will lead to her rapid recovery, and should not balk nor resist your administrations. She will not do so as long as you are sound in your judgment and improvements arrive in good time.
Attitude
From the first day, a Dominant must impress upon her domestic the measure of their relationship, and what personality traits the maid will be allowed to betray as part of her service and which ought to be firmly repressed. A maid is not a companion; she is an employee, expected to be focused upon her work and to receive her reward from a job well done. She should not be encouraged at the outset to believe that she is a favored member of the household or a “member of the family.” This is something that she may become after years of proven service, but it is not a status to be awarded upon the first day of employment.
Often a Dominant believes that through treating a maid with kindness or generosity, the maid will be grateful and work hard. Never presume that a giving attitude will encourage a strong work ethic. In nearly every instance the opposite has been proved to occur. Sloth is encouraged by the belief that no consequence will result from failing to do one’s work; only by the strong suggestion that this is not true will a Dominant create the sort of positive attitude needed for a maid to reach her full potential.
This is not to say that you should not provide words of encouragement for a job well done; only that the job should be completed excellently and in good time before approval is given. At all times, keep your praise in reserve; distribute it fairly, but only in rare circumstances. Too much praise will have the effect of creating in your domestic’s mind the belief that you require little effort to please, and therefore she will make less effort to do so.
It is best to upbraid her for any faults at once, or tell her immediately if she has made a mistake. Do not keep your opinion to yourself, believing that your maid will somehow sense your disapproval and correct the problem. You must correct her shortcomings before they become habits, which will plague you in the future and become much harder to repair. A sharp rebuke may today create discord in your maid’s happiness, but it will later on save many long scoldings.
Do not ever feel that you must retain your domestic’s approval at any time. It is the habit of maids to harbour resentment for their Mistresses whenever they themselves are at fault and are looking for someone to blame. It is equally in their nature to forego this resentment whenever they discover themselves to have ever been in the wrong. By not airing these hard feelings in the present, maids often preserve themselves from deserved feelings of humiliation when they discover they have reconciled themselves to their Mistress’s point of view. If you do see some demonstration of disapproval in your maid’s eyes, it is often best ignored. If, of course, your maid should be imprudent enough to announce her poor attitude openly, you will be forced to act. In all other cases, you will do better to allow time to diminish your maid’s improper mindset.
This is aided by the practice of maintaining a disciplined formality at all times. Whenever your maid addresses you, either in answering an instruction or command, she should use the title you have selected. Traditionally in previous centuries the Mistress of the House has been addressed simply as “Mistress.” In later times, “Madame” or even “Ma’am” has become common, and even “Mrs. Smith” or “Ms. Smith.” The archaic “M’Lady” may prove less effective as it has developed a degree of mawkishness through overuse in film and elsewhere.
Your maid should be attentive and focused when given instructions. If it should happen that she does not have a good memory, she should be allowed to take notes. The correct answer when directed to do anything would be a direct “Yes” without further embellishment. Any question should be prefaced with the request, “May a maid be permitted to speak?” or merely “Permission to speak?” Please and thank-you should be used in every appropriate instance. Any information given, such as the dinner being ready, should be announced clearly and as briefly as possible. It should not need to be said that a maid will always approach her Mistress and speak in a soft, conversation manner, emphasizing a demure femininity; she should never call out with a raised voice from another room. The one exception might be that, when called, the maid will commonly answer at once to indicate that she is hurrying to appear. In every case, the last word spoken will be the Dominant’s title.
A maid should never raise her voice for any reason, no matter how anxious or perturbed she might be. No word not deemed polite should ever fall from her mouth, nor should her mannerisms or the way in which she expresses herself convey anything but the height of respect.
She should absolutely refrain from initiating any casual dialogue with her Mistress, as this always results in work done in a slip-shod manner and encourages a sense of equality where no equality exists. It is not for the maid to waste her time in gadding about or in gossip with any member of the household, nor with visitors to the household such as laborers or deliverers. If she is to interact with such individuals, signing for things that are delivered or to let such a person into the house, she should go about her duties and keep her mind wholly on her work. Such engaged contractors do not enter the Dominant’s home to provide a holiday for domestics, particularly those who seek to parade themselves as somehow associated with the management of the house when they are in fact similarly engaged.Moreover, she should not draw inappropriate attention to herself or to the fact that she is driven by emotional needs for affection or approval. She should very certainly not bear herself in a manner that could be interpreted as lascivious. Though it may be recognized that a maid likely carries such feelings, they should not interfere with her work or with the ornamental appearance she presents as part of her Mistress’s household.
Very often a maid will seek to interject her own opinion into a situation, as to express a better way in which something can be done, or a better order in the timeliness of her duties. A Dominant may occasionally be indulgent, but on the whole such vocalisms ought to be discouraged. It will lead often to wheedling, as most domestics will seek to manipulate their Mistress’s if some better situation can be managed for themselves. A Dominant might deliberately seek a maid’s opinion; a maid should never announce her opinion unsolicited.
If it should happen that something is done incorrectly, a Dominant should expect an apology. When the error is addressed, the maid should behave humbly and listen patiently for instructions on how it should be corrected. She should not “fly off” to fix the situation themselves, nor wave off her Mistress when the time is being taken to correct her on what was done. It is for the Dominant to decide further action and to decide on what will action is required. The maid should wait to be told, however uncomfortable she might find this.
Mistakes should be remember and not repeated. If a maid is repeatedly inconsistent or fails to take instructions regardless of how often they are given, you will have to make arrangements for strong discipline. If your domestic proves incorrigible, do not hesitate to dismiss her. Very often the problem does not lie in your management skills, but in the very real fact that the domestic is unmanageable for reasons deriving from a number of outside circumstances beyond your control. It is best to eliminate such a person from your life and begin with a maid who proves more compatible.
Make it clear that if there are other members of the household, that their instructions should be followed as carefully as your own—even if their directions appear to conflict with your own. Your maid should follow the instruction and inform you afterwards of the situation, allowing the Dominant to straighten out the miscommunication yourself. Your maid should not refuse, citing precedent; this is not her place as help. If a particular matter is handled differently on one occasion as the result of a member of the house not knowing how something is usually done, it is the maid’s position to accommodate; certainly nothing extraordinarily bad will result. If it should, beware of any impulse to punish your maid and recognize that the matter should be taken to the source. Never punish your maid for following instructions, even if they are not yours.
Naturally it may happen that the other person will claim the maid acted inappropriately without instruction. If you as Dominant are certain of your training and of your maid, you will know this is false at once, for you may rely upon the simple knowledge that a domestic in your house would never have done such a thing on her own recognaissance. Being in the possession of a well-run household provides such benefits.
It will likely happen that your maid will possess many beliefs that are not shared by the household in which she works. She should be made to understand very clearly that such beliefs are not appropriate if openly expressed in a Dominant’s household. Though a domestic may possess a particular faith, superstition or philosophy, the knowledge of such should never impugn upon her Mistress’s space or be spoken of within her Mistress’s hearing. Maids may confine their personal beliefs to their personal space, where she may be given the opportunity to incorporate them into her environment.
Similarly, domestics should exhibit a sincere gratitude for the opportunity to serve in her Mistress’s home, particularly in thanking her Mistress for food that is provided or for anything that is given, even if it is something that is commonly provided every day. A maid should not be fussy nor complain about her food or meals, or what living arrangements have been provided for her, or about any circumstances which she might find unpleasant. As a Dominant, it will ease many concerns if you will take the time to discover if there are any reasonable dissatisfactions you might correct. This would also be a good time to assert your reasons for why you have made the decisions you have. Your maid should be made to understand that her situation was not casually created, and that you continue to give it thought as matters change. If it should happen that your maid will prove herself worthy, of course you would want to improve her benefits. This should also be made clear.
This leaves two particular attitudes that must be addressed most seriously. The first being that all too often maids are given to telling untruths, or for fabricating false details about matters. Associated with this matter of lying are maids who flagrantly give out too much truth mixed with falsehood about a Dominant’s household, telling tales to strangers or repeating what she has heard or seen to whomever might come into her company.
Such indiscretion is to be devoutly punished. A character that shows continued faults of this kind should be dismissed dispassionately and directly. Attempting to correct the problem, or make allowances, will only leave you further compromised and deceived. This is not to say that a maid should not be expected to lie, only that any maid who does so with an unremitting, imprudent or perverse relish should be shown the way to the curb and directed on her way.
A maid should never fail to inform her Mistress regarding anything that might happen, such as the breaking of a vase; or of anything she might see, such as the indiscretion of one of Mistress’s lovers; or help to cover up an impropriety committed by a child. A maid should do so immediately, as her loyalty requires that she be the eyes and ears of her Mistress, and not the protector of those who would deceive her Mistress. Failure to do so is in itself a deception.
A three-strike rule is very reasonable, mitigated perhaps if occurrences are stretched out over a period of years. More often, however, a liar may be presumed to be obstinate in their ethic, this habit being indicative of a wanton character, sorely to be gotten rid of.
Similar to the habit of telling tales would be the habit of stealing. This is of course much more serious, and may even involve the police. Most commonly, the activity extends only so far as filching food from the pantry, which in small amounts may be treated with the same discrepancy as lying—the maid being corrected twice and then dismissed for failing to listen. Objects should never be “borrowed.” If such occurs, circumstances might mitigate punishment—but a Dominant ought to resist too much indulgence.
If actual materials should disappear from the household, however, and the maid correctly implicated, very serious action should be taken. Be certain, however, before exploring your maid’s room. An incorrect accusation will damage forever whatever success you have had with your domestic in the past. Treat this circumstance, or a circumstance where you may not be sure who is telling a falsehood and who is telling the truth, with deliberation. The matter need not be solved within the hour, and more often than not the guilty party will be revealed through their consistent behavior. Resist therefore the desire to “hold court” in the immediate sense to settle the issue at once. Lay patiently and exercise caution.Possessing a maid who always tells the truth, who earnestly keeps promises she makes and succeeds in applying herself well to her tasks is a girl to be truly appreciated. A Dominant must be constant with her if she has thoroughly proved herself to be loyal in the past. A single incident, overblown and incorrectly managed, will shatter not only a maid’s simple faith but all the effort that has been taken…forcing a Dominant to again take that effort with someone else.
Therefore protect your maid, as well as employ her. If deserved, you will find her devotion the only reward you require.
posted by Alexis @ Tuesday, February 03, 2009
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